Albert Lea High School Newspaper

Face to Face: Students Weigh in on Pumpkin Spice

October 13, 2017

It’s fall and that means three things: back to school, UGG boots (or whatever else is in fashion this year) and pumpkin spice. The very bane of my existence because not only does it contain no pumpkin at all, it excites the masses into a malt dextrin infused coffee craze for months on end until the peppermint candy canes and gingerbread men invite us to a winter wonderland of less basic coffee.
Being a barista, I get enough orders of pumpkin spice to annoy me but not so much make me fully hate the “flavor.” Even as a kid I couldn’t understand the attraction of what I now know to be a goopy, thick, diabetes inducing flavoring that is kind of reminiscent of pumpkin but not really and you know to be pumpkin spice.
The only redeeming factor of pumpkin spice is that it smells like pumpkin pie, which I love. However, I then remember pumpkin pie itself has a whole bunch of things in it that aren’t pumpkin but more like a condensed milk cinnamon allspice mixture that resembles pie but isn’t. Therefore, it’s playing itself and is the leading factor in pumpkin related fraud cases.
For me pumpkin spice is a stomachache waiting to happen, it is good but not really, too sweet but then bland as all get out. I cannot deny pumpkin spice may be the most genius marketing plan ever.
I know people may believe that pumpkin spice is something special, a “coffee” (we all know you’re not getting coffee, you’re getting sugar with milk and a little bit of espresso.) A gift from bean gods and gourd angels, honestly it is not. It is just a great marketing campaign.
So let’s enjoy fall, wait, no pumpkin spice season because is it really autumn until you can get a steaming cup of caramel color IV and a less than satisfying Instagram picture?

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