Some people are designated drivers. Some people are designated class clowns. These are the people that no matter what, you can count on them to live up to their given job. In my family, I’m the designated crazy cat lady. Basically, my family thinks that someday I will have never gotten married and will live alone with 64 cats.

As a designated crazy cat lady, I’m the expert on being alone on Valentine’s Day. I take my role in this seriously; it’s like my job. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, the first thing that has to be done once you wake up is to put your game face on.

Everyone’s game face is unique to them, but I personally like to go with the more literal sense by putting a black streak under each eye. The second thing that has to be done is to dress comfortably and not too obvious that you’re alone. Try to avoid dressing head to toe in pink with a message like, “Valentine available. Check me out,” with a barcode in the middle. This outfit sends a strong message — just not the right one.

Also, don’t forget to wear sturdy shoes. If by some chance someone you’re not interested in suddenly thinks you’re hot stuff, you will be thankful you left your four-inch heels at home as you’re running away in tennis shoes. The third step is to eat breakfast. Not everyone likes to be alone on Valentine’s Day quite as much as I do, so if you plan on cozying up next to someone, breakfast is important. Having your stomach sound like a dying Beluga Whale can ruin the mood efficiently.

This next part I can’t stress enough. Do not forget to take care of personal hygiene such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, and wearing deodorant. Nothing says “I’m single and ready to mingle,” quite like not smelling like you rolled in garbage.

Lastly, smiling is important. Smiling makes you seem more approachable. Even if you’re crying on the inside about this holiday reminding you that nobody finds you desirable, as long as you smile on the outside no one can notice. A smile is magical like that.

Even if this day is a reminder you’re single, don’t forget that the day after has discounted chocolate. Chocolate is rumored to be able to glue together a broken heart.